i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
