hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize