Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
