She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
