Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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