Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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