What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
