Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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