I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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