well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
bring money and cleavage
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
