I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
