I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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