All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
