Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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