brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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