Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
