it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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