help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
