You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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