in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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