How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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