And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
