hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
