Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
