My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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