Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
