Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
