things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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