i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
