Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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