we made out on top of his cat.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
