im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
