You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
