She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize