Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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