i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
