APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We talked him into tasing himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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