Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
