What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
