I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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