who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
