It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize