Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
