No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
