Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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