Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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