we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
