Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am available for nakedness
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