All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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