i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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