Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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