You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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