If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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