hotel room ftw
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
