We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
