if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize