i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
